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Divorce
My Mom and Dad were divorced when I was one. Dad actually managed to sexually abuse me before the divorce. Karen and Janet, my two older sisters and I went to Dad's on Sundays where we had breakfast. We listened only to classical music, which we hated probably because it was Dad. We did not like him too much, he was " different." I had no idea until after he was murdered that he was gay. Well, looking back he was flamboyant, wearing scarves and brooches. He was a gourmet cook and prided himself in the feasts he made for us. My favorite was the crepes drenched in butter and cinnamon sugar. He kept house meticulously, which mirrored his career, a famous art restorer. I never told him I loved him. We had an emotionally distant co-existence. One thing I have held dear like the person in Living through Personal Crisis by Dr. Ann Kaiser Stearns who saved all the clothes of their loved one is a small crystal Easter egg that he gave to me one Easter. It is a symbol of his love, and my valuing it. Mostly, he showed his love through things and outings to plays and musical recitals. Those times were sometimes fun sometimes tedious. But today, I have come to enjoy these types of cultural events. They have helped to shape who I am today. How do you grieve someone you hardly knew, but who is supposed to mean so much?? I have postponed the grief some what through alcohol and drug use and avoidance. He did mean something to me because when we came home from school, in seventh grade, that day in January, I was shocked when Mom declared, "you're father is dead." What do you mean?! What happened?! What do you mean he's dead?! Then the tears started to come and the "oh my God's-" the utter shock. They told me it was a burglary but that is not what happened. The truth was withheld from me. He was actually taking advantage of two young male prostitutes. Risky behavior, that's for sure. What do you mean male?! What do you mean prostitutes?! I was humiliated! It was years la... Please login to view comments from other users.
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